Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Slow down every one...

...you're moving too fast;
frames can't catch you when you're moving like that...
(Jack Johnson, Inaudible Melodies; Brushfire Fairytales)

I have a confession.

I have an extremely hard time slowing down.


In fact I have an extremely hard time just sitting still. I highly doubt that I am alone in this conundrum. I just...feel...that I'm not being productive if I am "relaxing" in the traditional sense, which would be sitting doing very little. Meditation is a HUGE challenge for me. Once I am sitting I am fine, but it is the ACT of bringing myself to my cushion to actually SIT where I have a problem.

This constant motion often drives my husband nuts. He would love nothing more than if I would join him on the couch and to stay put. I took up knitting to help with this, but I can only stay put for about an hour then I gotta move.

For example, an average day for me:

6:00a - alarm goes off
6:30a - Kia dog tells me to GET UP NOW!
7:30a - kennel dogs and head off to work
8:00-12:00 - work
12:00-1:00 - gym (yoga, aerobics style class, spin class, walk or run)
1:00-4:30 - work
4:30 - head to studio
5:30-7:00 - teach yoga
7:40 - back home again! Let hounds run around, make dinner
8:30-9:30 - mow lawn, water garden, let hounds run around, clean house
9:30 - get breakfast and lunch ready for next day
10:00 - bed, read
10:30 - lights out!

If I'm not teaching yoga, then I'm home a bit earlier and I'm out in the yard or taking hounds for a walk.

Even tonight, I came home, finished mowing the lawn, threw the Frisbee for Kia, made dinner and now it's 8:00p and I'm feeling guilty for "sitting" here. I could be on my bike, walking the dogs, watering the garden, cleaning house, packing for my upcoming trip...all important things, yes?

But I am trying very hard to slow down, to stop and smell my petunias and just hang out because really, yoga is more than movement, it's about acknowledging each moment, and that moment should not include vacuum cleaning...


shinyyoga said...

haha yr day sounds like my kind of day! I am constantly on the go.. full time job, teaching yoga, leading workshops, participating in workshops, assisting in other teachers classes, going to gigs (for my day job)... then when I get home I'm trying to catch up with friends, cook, clean, read.... oh yes it's definitely full on.

One of my aims this year was to really start up a good meditation practice - in part just so i can BE STILL.. not much headway made on that goal but I have started going to a Yin Yoga & meditation class on sundays... so that's one hour of stillness a week. Hey, it's a start : )

Good to know I'm not alone : )


Sara said...

Sounds a little nuts. Maybe you can make it to my Restorative class tonight and treat yourself to some relaxation!

Remember, in Restorative you aren't doing nothing, you are practicing learning one-pointedness. I know practicing concentration doesn't feel very active but it's pretty dang challenging.