Monday, May 5, 2008

Balance

During my Saturday morning practice, I was wobbling around in Utthita Hasta Padangusthasana(Standing Hand to Toe) and reflecting on how unbalanced I am in this morning session. It’s not just this particular Saturday, but every Saturday. I bounce. I hop. I lean and wobble. Sometimes I can hold steady, most of the time not. Admittedly, the carpet I practice on doesn’t help (I really dislike that carpet for several reasons). Now come afternoon or even more so evening, I tend to be pretty solid and can add the forehead to shin or additional lift to the foot. Not always, but more so than my Saturday morning wobblies.

I’ve also discovered the more I try and compensate or fight my wobbly mornings, the more frustrated I become and the more unbalanced I feel, which throws my subconscious out of the practice. When I accept the fact that I am going to be tippsy and I move into a lower level of the asana and tell myself, well, maybe next time, I feel more sure of myself, more solid, and much calmer. I didn’t say I was happier - because I know where I can work - but I can continue to follow my breath, staying with the count and the practice.

Balance is kinda like life. There are times when we seem grounded and solid and can move through our day with ease. Phone calls go smoothly, our relationships seem more content and fulfilling, work at home and in the office seems less like a chore and more of something to be accomplished and the days sail along. When we are not grounded or balanced, we become frustrated, cranky, we push ourselves and others. Our daily dealings become like a raspberry thorn in the thumb - you can feel it but you can’t find it to set things to right and so become more frustrated.

What if we approached these times with the same attitude we try and approach our practice with? What if when we are feeling unbalanced, we step back and acknowledge we are unbalanced and move to a “lower level” of attitude. Try telling your significant other or those you live with, “I am feeling today.” It seems a verbal acknowledgment addresses not only those around you, but creates acceptance within yourself as well. And don’t forget to tell yourself that while today is not your day, tomorrow is a different day.

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